RIDE THE DARK CARS

NICKY’s introduces her abusive husband to a woman she claims is her supervisor at a New York Department store.

NICKY
Joey, this is Suzanne– gimme your coat— jeeze, it turned freezin', heh? Think it'll snow?

JOE
I'll take that—

(SUZANNE slips out of HER coat. SHE wears expensive slacks and a silk blouse open at the throat and fastened with a diamond and ruby brooch.)

NICKY
So, ya didn't have no trouble findin' us, huh?

JOE
Course she didn't, jerk - she's here, right?

(HE exits with coat. )

SUZANNE
Are you okay?

NICKY
Yeah, why?

SUZANNE
You look....

NICKY
I'm okay. He thinks you're a junkie.

SUZANNE
Good. Is the gun still in his drawer.

NICKY
Yes– yes. Was I was supposed to bring it up first...? About Charlie?

SUZANNE
Don't worry, leave it to me. I’ll start.

NICKY
That’s what I thought you said.

SUZANNE
I did, I did–we'll do it together. But we need to get him a little tipsy first —

NICKY
No– I told you he’s a bartender - he hardly ever drinks himself —

SUZANNE
Shhhh — relax - leave it to me. (Grinning) What makes him think I'm a junkie?

NICKY
Sherlock Holmes looked out the window and saw you sniffin'in twenty degree weather so naturally— Shhh– So. You look nice, Suzanne.

(JOE returns. HE has changed HIS shirt.)

JOE
So, Suzanne, sit down, heh?

NICKY
You wanna drink? I got this nice white wine and this nice red wine.

SUZANNE
Coffee's fine, thanks.

JOE
Coffee? You don't want coffee. Lookit this. Check this out.

SUZANNE
Really, I—

JOE
Ecco Domani, 2005, a beautiful Merlot.

SUZANNE
Oh. Well...

JOE
Sure, wait'll ya taste this. Primo.

NICKY
I filled the ice thing, see it?

JOE
Babe? What I tell ya?

NICKY
Oh...

JOE
She don't want ice. (Indulgent smile, to SUZANNE) You don't—?

(SHE shakes HER head.)

My wife, I don't know what I'm gonna do with her, she never learns. I knew I could talk ya into a glass - whatya want coffee for? Nicky, put that down - give her this.

NICKY
I thought she maybe wanted something to —

SUZANNE
I'm not hungry, thanks.

JOE
See? Put down the tray, give the lady her wine.

NICKY
Here ya go, Suzanne.

SUZANNE
Thanks.

JOE
Babe, whatya want - Coke?

NICKY
Um...

JOE
So, Suzanne, you do weekends over there, heh?

SUZANNE
Yes.

JOE
Fancy, place.

SUZANNE
Yes.

JOE
Yep. Fancy place. Nick's comin home alla time describin people she sees all day, regular highbrows–

SUZANNE
Mmmm.

JOE
Funny she never mentioned you before.

SUZANNE
No?

NICKY
That's only cause —

JOE
So Nicky tells me you're gettin ready for Christmas now, heh?

SUZANNE
Uh, yes.

JOE
Earlier every year. You don't celebrate though, heh?

SUZANNE
Celebrate?

JOE
Christmas—here ya go, Nick. (Hands her a can) So, whatawe drink to? New friends, heh? How's that?

SUZANNE
Sounds good.

JOE
To new friends then.

NICKY
To new friends.
(THEY drink. NICKY rises, crosses to the bar for a glass and ice.)

Joey works at Jay's Place, over across the street?

SUZANNE
Uh huh.

JOE
Good restaurant. Real elegant place. We got alotta celebs come in.

SUZANNE
That so?

JOE
Sure. Marty and Jay, the owners, they know some heavy hitters - Bobby Simmons was in last night.

SUZANNE
Oh.

JOE
Bobbie Simmons? The Nets? Y’know?

SUZANNE
No.

JOE
Basket—

SUZANNE
Sorry.

JOE
–ball — You know who’s gonna stop by tonight? Larry Champion.

SUZANNE
Who?

JOE
Larry Champion. My boss knows him from high school. He comes by for the Lobster Napolitano.

SUZANNE
I see.

NICKI
She doesn’t know who he is, Joey. Not everbody listens to that gross stuff.

JOE
Shut up– Larry Champion? He started on cool FM 22 - been on the air all week - replaced Freddy Feinstein who got bounced for talkin trash - the Jewish guy - he’s hysterical.

NICKY
Joey.

JOE
What I say? The Jewish guy. What's it a secret or somethin? You know my wife, she thinks when ya state a fact, it's an insult.

NICKY
I do not —

JOE
Hey, babe, it’s a funny show and Jews are funny - everyone knows that - that’s not his real name - “Champion” - it’s probably Steinberg or something - like with Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis - the Italian’s the romantic one and the Jew gets the laughs - that’s the way it is. Right, Suzanne?